The Conspiracy of the Household Devices

There’s an everyday battle in life that we fight.

It can be with the TV or an overhead light

or a malfunctioning toaster, a dead microwave,

a washer unbalanced,

a frig on the blink,

stopped up toilet,

clogged up sink.

There’s an everyday battle like a conspiracy you see,

purposed to frustrate and torment me.

Computer goes slowly, won’t give us our stuff,

our info, our downloads,

if that isn’t enough,

our phones cut out promptly as we just thought of our thought,

and the door hits my head when I load groceries I bought.

The CD player won’t work, no sound on the laptop

an odd quirk.

Plug in the external keyboard and then

Words are not scrambled and I can write again.

The fax is possessed and has a mind of its own,

Don’t tell the dryer it is all alone.

It’s maybe the only invention that works

without  fighting me in bits and spurts.

So I tried to mop and it came apart in my hand.

I need to do something to take a stand.

Gotta’ do this housework whether “they” want to assist me or not.

They’ll see the junk man if they don’t give what they’ve got.

I’m even battling the coffee pot!

Why can’t our devices respect us I ask?

Working forever completing their task?

THE PREACHER

A preacher man came into town

to preach revival one sunny day,

but he needed a choir to back him up and sing

 and hum and shout and pray.

So he went to the church, and asked them, please provide a choir for me,

but not just any choir, they should be anointed you see.

When I say something wonderful, let the choir agree

and they need to be ready for ministry…promptly at three.

The choir rehearsed all that they knew,

reviewed and checked all their keys,

The pianist practiced and so did the band

to accompany  them with ease.

It was time for the service, the choir began

and sang so many wonderful tunes.

The preacher said stay up on the platform my friends.

Sing what the Spirit would bring,

and so the choir remained right there,

listening for cues,

 and oh were they  ready to sing!

The preacher began,

He lifted his voice,

and preached from his heart and then,

a most remarkable thing occurred,

when he started to talk…

he started to talk about sin.

“You must not smoke, you must not drink, you must not cuss.”

The choir sang out loud and clear, “What can wash away my sin, nothing but the blood of Jesus!

The preacher gave a sign for pause and nodded and then spoke,

The choir then began again and they almost made him choke.

Each time he said a phrase or two, the choir sang out strong,

Like a duel of swords you might say,

They had all the appropriate songs.

Getting back to what I said, “You’re all sinners, listen now!”

The choir interrupted with Amazing Grace, and then they sang…

How wonderful art thou.

The preacher’s face turned red and

 he tried so hard to speak,

but the only time the choir was still

was when he was very meek.

They hummed with readiness and waited,

He began preaching good things to hear,

And when he diverted to sin and judgment,

They burst out in song to be clear.

We will never know who won that day,

We will never know what he tried to say,

For the choir was anointed it was said by my friend,

They were armed with their music,

from the start to the end.

Imagine This

Imagine if the burger places would say...
"How many?" "How much?" and "How Big?"
For calories, price and size of order,
So we'll know if we're being a pig.

FOR EXAMPLE:

That is 790 calories mam,
only $5 and 4"wide.
Would you like that with  tea, we need to know
and do you want
french fries on the side?

The tea we have is sugar sweet 
and the fries will come quite dear,
so we'll have to add 380 calories more,
change the price to be quite clear.

The combo meal is on special today,
the price might come down,
with calories up,
So now you must decide to be
thin or wide...
here's your totals..
Good luck. :)